A few blog posts on parenting that I'm finding helpful

I've never heard of the HALT method, but apparently it's something addicts use to help themselves avoid the temptation to use. What does this have to do with parenting? Well, this post from Simple Mom applies the principles of the HALT method to becoming more proactive at setting your child up for successful behavior & avoiding common triggers for bad behavior (i.e. Hunger, Anger, Loneliness & Tiredness). It's not rocket science, but it is a good reminder to be mindful of how you plan your child's day.

I'm not proud to admit that I lose it & yell at my kids sometimes (I don't yell ugly things at them at the top of my lungs, more like using a too-loud voice & a harsh tone when they've pushed me too far). Anyhow, it's something I regret doing the second after I'm done & something I have tried to work on for years. I have gotten better. But, this post by Kate, from the Picklebums blog, does a nice job of helping with strategies to avoid the yelling.

Parenting In This Day and Age

I told you I was thinking a lot lately about my role as a mother. I didn't say I had any original ideas on the subject, but I've certainly been reading lots of blog posts, etc. that I want to share. Here's another...

From Kevin DeYoung on The Gospel Coalition:
an excerpt from the beginning of his post Parenting 001...
"Does it seem like parenting has gotten more complicated? I mean, as far as I can tell, back in the day parents basically tried to feed their kids, clothe them, and keep them away from explosives. Now our kids have to sleep on their backs (no wait, their tummies; no never mind, their backs), while listening to Baby Mozart surrounded by scenes of Starry, Starry Night. They have to be in piano lessons before they are five and can’t leave the car seat until their about five foot six."

and one from the end...
"I just know that the longer I parent the more I want to focus on doing a few things really well, and not get too passionate about all the rest. I want to spend time with my kids, teach them the Bible, take them to church, laugh with them, cry with them, discipline them when they disobey, say sorry when I mess up, and pray like crazy. I want them to look back and think, “I’m not sure what my parents were doing or if they even knew what they’re were doing. But I always knew my parents loved me and I knew they loved Jesus.” Maybe it’s not that complicated after all."

Click the link above for the full article.

Since I realize it's easy to 'talk' on a blog or wherever & come across like I've got it all together or that I'm being this wonderful, multi-tasking mom, I feel like I should confess that I don't and I'm not (never have, really). My house is a wreck & has been for months (I blame nursing school). We've eaten way too many fast-food meals & the kids have spent way too many hours on the weekend zoned out watching cartoons while I try to catch up on laundry before the week hits us square between the eyes again. We haven't been to church on a regular basis in a long time (that one really bothers me the most). I could keep going on, but you get the picture. I try to do better every day (even if only by a teeny, tiny bit) & do my best to let go of the things that won't matter in the long run (like whether the kids have wrinkled clothes or cute lil' heart-shaped PB&J sandwiches). And, I hope once this season of our life is past (in less than a year - YAY!), I can get my act together a bit more.

"To A Child Love Is Spelled T-I-M-E"

I happened upon this blog post with a list of 40 ways to show your child love. I wanted to share her intro & a few from the list that I want to do with Ella & Wesley in the next month.

"Displayed on a shelf in the entry way of my mother’s home is a book entitled To A Child Love Is Spelled T-I-M-E. I have often thought about that statement and how much truth it holds. It’s easy for us to say “I love you” but those three words, devoid of action and the gift of our quality time, are simply that—just words." -- Candace from The Mother Huddle blog

1. Send them a handmade card in the mail with a coupon to go get ice cream with you.
2. Play a game with them.
3. Let them win.
4. Kidnap them from school and take them out for lunch.
5. Go to the store and let them pick out all the ingredients to make banana splits. Make and eat them together.
6. Read “I love you” books together.

Just a thought on motherhood

I LOOKED ON CHILD REARING NOT ONLY AS A WORK OF LOVE AND DUTY BUT AS A PROFESSION THAT DEMANDED THE BEST THAT I COULD BRING TO IT. -- ROSE KENNEDY

Just a reminder to myself that my 'job' as a mother is every bit as important (& even more so than) my paid job (& really, has much more long-term rewards & responsibilities to go along with it). Been thinking a lot lately about my role as mother, wife, homemaker (& how to keep those roles balanced with my other ones without losing my mind). I half-jokingly told Anthony the other day that I was going to run off & join the circus. He told me I was too hot & had too many teeth to join the circus. I love it when he makes me laugh (when I'm about to cry).

Found the quote here: Motherhood Matters

Just a quote...

(quote by brene, design/script by ali)

Credit: found here on Kelly Rae Roberts' blog.

Just a Quick Photo Share...

I'll spare you the apologies for not posting in a while. Suffice it to say nursing school is going well, but trying to balance work, school & family is difficult, to say the least.

Anyhow, I just wanted to share this photo of Ella that has had Anthony & I laughing every time we see it. I'm considering buying the print just for future blackmail material.


It was taken by a photographer that comes to her daycare every fall/spring (like regular school photos). I rarely buy them because I don't like the photos with the fake backgrounds & usually forget to even dress her in non-play clothes (hence the purple crocs that don't match the shirt that isn't even hers - one of her teachers must have felt sorry for her & switcher her shirt with someone else's because she was wearing a tinkerbell shirt that day :)

Her expression is hilarious! This is not a normal 'Ella' expression unless she is being a little toot & is annoyed with us. She looks like she's thinking, "Okay, let's get this photo business done with so I can get back to playing. I'm going to stand her her like you want me to, but you can forget about me smiling."

Too Many Irons in the Fire

Or rather too many craft projects in progress. How do you know if you have too many projects in progress?




Well, when you have two quilt tops spread out on your pool table (which hasn't been used as an actual pool table in years) waiting to be quilted, a 'found' pallet in the back of your car that needs to be torn apart to use the 2x4's to build closet shelves, a coffee table you built (plans from here) waiting in your husband's shop to be stained (just need some electricity & a little cooler weather for that one - the power has been out since a storm about a month ago knocked down the building next door to the shop we rent), and you've started filling one of your precious few laundry baskets with sewing projects (cloth diapers ready to sew in the replacement elastic & aplix, my sister's quilt that I mentioned here, a few clothes that need to be patched up, etc.) just so you have some room to work. Add to that all the ideas for furniture, baby gifts & Christmas gifts that I have swirling around in my head. In case you can't tell, I skipped right through the decluttering part of my plan to the finishing projects part. Only I've done very little to complete projects I already had going & have started about five extra ones. Help me, Rhonda! How am I ever going to finish all these before Aug. 28th?

Tales From Toddlerhood

I picked the kids up from daycare this afternoon & was trying to sit Ella in her car seat when she did what I call her 'stiff as a board' trick. Anyone with small children knows what I'm talking about. She will straighten her body out & I cannot wrestle her into a sitting position no matter how hard I try. Usually she does it so I can't buckle her in. This time she wiggled out of my grasp into the floor of the car, said something about 'up', crawled up in the seat all by herself, turned around, sat down & just looked at me like, 'now you can buckle me in.' Obviously she is getting to the 'I can do it all by myself' stage. I alternate between feeling frustrated (b/c of impatience), tickled at how funny it is, downright proud about her learning to do so many things without my help, and sad that she doesn't need/want my help as much anymore. How's that for an emotional rollercoaster? Hee, hee.

Then there are the really adorable things that go along with having a toddler. Like yesterday in the car on the way home hearing her 'read' The Foot Book by Dr. Seuss. It went something like this... "[indecipherable jibberish] baseball, baseball, baseball, [flip page], bye-bye [jibberish], [flip page], Mommy, Daddy, Wesley, Pops, [more jibberish]. I wish I could catch her doing it at home so I could record it - it's adorable.

Or there's tonight when she took two of her finger puppets in the living room & gave one to Anthony. He put it on his finger and said, "Hi, Ella," and she said, "Hi, Daddy."

Then there's her vocabulary that is growing so fast it's unbelievable. Up until yesterday she would almost always say "uh-huh" for yes & only occasionally repeat us and say "yes," which came out sounding like 'sess.' Suddenly she doesn't say "uh-huh" anymore. Now it's "yeah" every time. She almost sounds Canadian the way she says it.

I could go on with more little stories about the joys & trials of having a toddler, but it's midnight & my eyelids are getting pretty heavy so I'll have to save them for another day.

On Household Matters...

I’m on a mission to get our household running like a well-oiled machine before nursing classes start at the end of August. It seems like every time I go through a season of life when I am overwhelmed, the state of our house reflects that & looks like a tornado hit it. I am not embarrassed to admit that I’m not the best housekeeper to begin with (okay, maybe I’m a little embarrassed to admit that). My house is not one that you can just drop by unannounced & expect it to be presentable enough for company. Though I have the best intentions, I fail in execution. But, when I am overwhelmed, the house looks even worse than normal, with piles everywhere and everyone playing a sort of Russian roulette every day with whether they will have clean clothes to wear or dishes to eat on or food to eat for that matter. Sad, isn’t it? Granted this sad state of affairs has only happened a few times. One that comes to mind is the weeks that I was plagued with all-day nausea in the first part of my pregnancy with Ella (before I gave in to my doctor & starting taking anti-nausea medicine). I am determined to not let that happen again. One of the ways I’m heading off that situation now is by implementing some checklists & chore charts for all of us (except Ella – although I'm teaching her to clean up after herself & help with simple tasks, I think it’s a little early for a checklist for her).

Anyhow, the point of this post is to share some of things I’m using/planning on using in the hopes they might help someone else and also in the hopes that I’ll follow through since I’ve written it down & put it out there.

Household Chores: Motivated Moms has several different versions of planners. I’m using the full page per week one (the first one on the list).

Wesley’s checklists: This is something we tried for a bit right after Ella was born. It seemed to work okay then. Amazingly Wesley actually requested that I make these for him again the other day. I thought it was both funny & endearing that he wanted a checklist – evidence that he must be my child after all. If you are interested in my template just email me.

Meal Planner: E-Mealz. I used this for about 6 months when Ella was an infant & liked it overall. Some of the meals were a little unusual for our tastes (and I would say we’re not picky eaters), but I loved not having to think up meals & already having a shopping list made out for me. I’m planning on using this in conjunction with some of our family favorites that I can make in batches & freeze (things like PW’s Chicken Spaghetti) or that can be made in the crockpot without too much work (like this recipe for a whole chicken that we can make into two meals by having taco soup the next day).

And, lastly, printing out my calendar from Entourage (the version of Outlook for Mac) each month to post at home so it will have game schedules, my classes, birthdays, etc. already on it & all I will have to fill in is the day to day things that come up.

I also have big plans to go through every nook & cranny of our house during the break between my spring classes (last final is May 12^th) & my summer class (starts July 13^th) and get rid of a bunch of junk + get the rest of the stuff organized. I’ve already gone through one desk, one dresser, part of one storage closet & started on my scrapbooking closet/area. Then, during the two week break I’ll have between the end of my summer class & the start of nursing school I’m planning on getting some projects I’ve been working on for a loonngg time wrapped up – namely Wesley’s baby book (almost ten years in the making & I’ve completely started over twice) & finishing a quilt that I started in a quilting class I took in the summer of 2003 that I ‘gave’ to my sister, Megan, for Christmas that year in pieces (I had all the blocks made & some of the quilting done) – she has been reminding me to finish it for her almost every time I see her. I think I might have good excuses for not getting it done yet. Some of the big ones are moving twice, getting engaged/planning a wedding/getting married, buying a house, finishing two degrees + starting another, starting a new job, remodeling our one bathroom, having a baby (all in the last seven years, but not necessarily in that order).

Credit for finding the meal planner & household chores list goes to Susan Wyatt. I found both those from her sharing them on her blog.

4 people 12 times

I love Tara Whitney's photography. I visit her site & her blog on occasion for inspiration. She is doing something so neat with her family of six. Once a month she's taking a group shot & jotting down some things about her family from that month - what they've been doing, listening to, favorite dinner of the month, etc.

I have not had much time in the past year or two (let's be honest, I haven't had time since little miss Ella came along) to do much in the way of scrapbooking. And, in the last year since I started back to school I haven't done much in the way of blogging either. So, my solution is to copy Tara's idea for my little family of four. Anthony, consider yourself warned.

With any luck I'll be able to keep up with it for the next year then print it out into a little coffee table book, sort of like a yearbook for our family.

And, because I think posts look funny without a picture, here's one I took of Ella & I a couple weeks ago with my iPhone.

Ella & the train

Ella LOVES trains. It started with her receiving "The Little Engine That Could" book from the Reading Railroad program they have here in Tennessee (she gets a free book each month until she turns five). That book became her favorite, and she carried it around with her everywhere.
We live near a train track & now every time one goes by she runs to the storm door to watch it. Anthony sometimes shows her train videos on youtube to keep her entertained. It works magically until he tells her they're all done watching them.
We just happened to be outside playing a week or so ago & one came by. You can see in the first few seconds of the video how excited she gets about them.

McSweeney's Lists

I'll spare you the 'it's been a while since I posted' stuff & just get to the very important, random bit of internet gold I found. I'm using 'important' rather loosely here, and while we're being perfectly honest, I really didn't find it myself either. I saw it linked from a post on Cathy Zielske's blog.

I love lists. I make lists for the usual things like grocery shopping or to-do lists and also for more unneccessary things like movies I want to see, things I want for my kitchen (springform pan, anyone?... no, just me?... okay then), or crafty things I want to make (like a doll for Ella similar to one I had as a child with the buttons, zipper and snaps for her to learn to dress herself). Anyways, because I love lists, I love this site/blog - McSweeney's Lists. Here's some examples of some of the lists: Common Sense Problems to Alt-Pop Song Problems, How to Put on a Sports Bra (I was laughing so hard at this one I was in tears. Sorry, men, but you probably won't get it), My Personal Netflix Recommendation Categories or Toddler Super Powers (one especially applicable to my life right now). So, if you need a good laugh, take a look around. Oh, and tell 'em I sent you. On second thought, don't. They might not let you in if you do.

P.S. Happy Birthday shout-out to my sister, Megan, who is back in the Middle East for her second tour of duty (for the next 12 months) & to one of my oldest friends (not in age, just in how long we've been friends), Justin. Hope you two have a good birthday.

Meet the newest member of our family

Introducing Buddy, a 7 month old dachshund and the newest member of our family. We're doing a trial run with him for a couple weeks to make sure he's a good fit for us and vice versa. The kids are loving him. We just picked him up today and so far he's been very well-behaved. He likes to cuddle - my kind of dog.

A Fitting Final Resting Place

This little exchange happened between Anthony & I the other day while watching the Fiesta Bowl on tv. First, a little background. Anyone who has been around Anthony for any significant amount of time knows how much he is into cars, trucks, motorcycles, really anything that has the possibility of going fast since his interest crosses over into boats and airplanes on occasion. I don't know if there is a proper adjective to describe his interest in vehicles. He's more than enthusiastic, some days I might call it obsessed (depends on what mood I'm in). He can explain in detail how some part will increase the horse power of a motor (or gas mileage - his go-to choice of results for swaying me on the advantages of purchasing said component). I usually lose him about halfway into the very technical explanation & just have to nod along.
Anyhow, for those who know him, this conversation will not sound the least bit odd, but for those who don't, I had to preface it with that explanation or you would think my husband was a bit nutso.
He's relaxing in the recliner, flipping through a Moon Eyes catalog. Some people read the paper or a novel for bedtime reading. My husband 'reads' automotive parts catalogs.
Anthony: When I die, I want to be cremated & put in this.
He leans over & points to something on the page that looks like a big metal container of some kind.
Me: Huh?
Anthony: It's a limited edition Moon Eyes fuel tank. Look it has a spinner cap.
Me: You want to be put in that?!
Anthony: Yeah, it would be cool.
Me: Uh, what if I just take you to Bonneville and spread your ashes there?

(aside: the Bonneville Salt Flats are the site of Speed Week & other car enthusiast related events. Apparently every serious hot rodder must make a pilgrimage there at least once in their life & respectable drag racers will eventually become a member of the 200 mph club)
Anthony: That would be good, but you would have to take me in this fuel tank. C'mon, it doesn't cost that much.
I glance at the the price. His 'not that much' & my 'not that much' are not the same.
Anthony: Okay, so it's not cheap, but it's less than the cost of a casket.
Me: True...

Happy Holidays

Sorry to leave you with such a depressing post for so long. I meant to post this one on Christmas, but alas, one sugar-hyped toddler & not enough time to cook, pack & get ready to go pick up Wesley before heading to my parents' house interfered. So, my holiday wishes to blogland are late just like the Christmas cards I mailed two days before Christmas. Better late than never, right?

I hope you and yours had a very Merry Christmas and have a Happy New Year.
Anthony & I saw a little decade in review on the news tonight. They started with the ball dropping at midnight marking the beginning of 2000, & I said to him, "I remember where I was that night." I can figure out what I was likely doing on most new year's eve's in the last fifteen years or so based on what year it was, but I actually remember December 31, 1999, where I was, who was there, what movie we were watching & the games we were playing, who I was there with. I remember how excited I was about 2000. After all, I was a high school senior & would be starting college somewhere that fall. My, how things change in ten year's time. I was so young then, still very naive and innocent, & on my way out of the angst-filled teenage years. The last ten years have flown by. It seems like I just blinked and went from that young girl to being the wife & mother of two.

Sorry, didn't mean to ramble on like that. Here's the picture we sent out in our Christmas cards this year (it's not the best one we've taken, but not the worst either).

Reminiscing

I was working on my list for Christmas cards this weekend, going through my address spreadsheet and deleting the names of former boyfriends or spouses, adding names of new babies and spouses. It struck me how much my family has changed over the last year. I don't mean to sound crude or to talk about personal business, but several couples have split up in our family, and it breaks my heart to see them going through what they are going through. It makes me wish I could take some superglue & glue all the broken pieces back together, then throw some pixie dust on them to make things all better. How naive we were as little kids, thinking the prince always finds his princess, and they live happily ever after. How simple & easy that was, huh? I wish it were that way.

Sorry for such a downer of a post, but am I the only one who longs for those simpler times?

I guess if there's anything positive that comes out of all that brokenness, it's that it makes me hold on to what I've got even tighter. It makes me realize how fragile those threads that bind us together really are.

Kelly Corrigan video

I saw this video linked from Cathy Zielske's blog. If you are a woman (or even if you're not)
you should take 5 minutes to watch this video. It is beyond touching.

Edited to add: (12/27) I read Kelly's book, "The Middle Place" over the last three days. There are not many books that can make me both laugh out loud & cry big crocodile tears & still feel good about at the end. It is most definitely a good book.

Loads of videos to share...

Thanks to my very kind father-in-law, Greg, we have a new Flip video camera. I love it. Although I'm sure we will still use our more hefty Sony handycam, this little baby is so simple & compact & still gives what I think is a great picture (for our use at least, which is basically just watching the videos at home or loading them on here for friends & family to see). Okay, end of commercial, now to the videos.

I know I owe you since it's been more than a month (don't say I didn't warn you that posts would be scarce with me being back in school), so I have several videos to share from the last week or so since I tore into my Christmas present a little prematurely. For the record, Greg, Anthony made me do it.

This is what happens when Daddy supervises snack time. Ella loves pretzels, but she loves pretzels dipped in Nutella even more.



Ella playing around with her clothes basket. She was walking all over the house with it on her head. Of course when I tried to record it she wouldn't put it back on for me.



Ella & I going down the big slide at Santa's Village, an annual event that our city's Parks & Recreation dept. puts on. The admission is either toys or canned food, which they then give out to needy families for Christmas. We don't have any pictures/video of the decorations, but they always have this enormous Christmas tree & an 'enchanted forest' that the kids enjoy, too. Wesley didn't get to go with us this year because he was gone to his dad's all weekend, so that's why he's missing from all the videos.

This video is a little loud so you might want to turn down your speakers a little before you hit play. You can't hear her over the noise, but Ella kept saying, "Wee," as we were coming down the slide. You can see her pull back when we get to the gate because she wanted to go again.



Ella LOVES trains.



Ella doing some crazy dancing.



Wesley is also missing from most of these because he's camera shy. You can see his reaction when he sees the camera in this one. We were trying to get Ella to say all the words she knows. I forgot to ask several of them, like fish ("pish") and more ("moe").



You can see more videos from Santa's Village & around the house if you go to my youtube page (it should link to it at the end of any of the above videos).

Melissa & Doug toys

If you have small children you have probably seen or heard of Melissa & Doug toys. (Shameless plug alert)... My friend, Sunny, carries some in her store. Most of the things I've suggested to family for Ella this year have been Melissa & Doug toys. As I was adding things on her Amazon wish list, I saw this kitchen. Oh, the hours of fun I had playing with the pretend kitchen my sister, Megan, & I had. I want one for Ella. Of course, she's still a little small for it this year. That didn't stop me from adding it to her list. I have a feeling I've got her Christmas present next year all wrapped up (no pun intended). Anyways, I clicked over to the Melissa & Doug website to see more detailed pictures & what do you know, they are giving away one of the play kitchens on their blog this month. How awesome would it be to win one for Ella?! They have several ways to enter & blogging about the giveaway earns me 5 entries. So, this post just got me a little closer to possibly winning it. If you have a little budding chef, head on over to their blog & enter, too. If you don't, still have a look at their toys. They're high quality, well-designed & inspire lots of imaginative play.

What a pair...

We had a cute, cuddly elephant & a very scary grim reaper on our hands for Halloween last weekend.


I feel like Wesley's costume deserves an explanation. Most everyone that reads our blog knows that Wesley visits his dad every other weekend. It just so happened that Halloween fell on his dad's weekend this year, so he had the pleasure/responsibility of costume hunting. And, hunt he did. Wesley's first pick was Iron Man. I'm not sure how many stores were visited in search of said costume, but there were none to be found in Wesley's size. So, they moved on to a G.I. Joe costume. Same song, different verse. I never asked for details, but I assume they were to the point that they just had to take what was left. Anyhow, an hour or so of hair & makeup & my sweet, wholesome boy was transformed into a grim reaper. Anthony, Ella & I stopped in Dover to see him & take these pictures. We were there for a good 30 minutes, and I honestly don't think Ella ever recognized it was Wesley. She kept giving him the funniest look. I'm surprised she sat next to him long enough to get a picture of them together.