Parenting In This Day and Age

I told you I was thinking a lot lately about my role as a mother. I didn't say I had any original ideas on the subject, but I've certainly been reading lots of blog posts, etc. that I want to share. Here's another...

From Kevin DeYoung on The Gospel Coalition:
an excerpt from the beginning of his post Parenting 001...
"Does it seem like parenting has gotten more complicated? I mean, as far as I can tell, back in the day parents basically tried to feed their kids, clothe them, and keep them away from explosives. Now our kids have to sleep on their backs (no wait, their tummies; no never mind, their backs), while listening to Baby Mozart surrounded by scenes of Starry, Starry Night. They have to be in piano lessons before they are five and can’t leave the car seat until their about five foot six."

and one from the end...
"I just know that the longer I parent the more I want to focus on doing a few things really well, and not get too passionate about all the rest. I want to spend time with my kids, teach them the Bible, take them to church, laugh with them, cry with them, discipline them when they disobey, say sorry when I mess up, and pray like crazy. I want them to look back and think, “I’m not sure what my parents were doing or if they even knew what they’re were doing. But I always knew my parents loved me and I knew they loved Jesus.” Maybe it’s not that complicated after all."

Click the link above for the full article.

Since I realize it's easy to 'talk' on a blog or wherever & come across like I've got it all together or that I'm being this wonderful, multi-tasking mom, I feel like I should confess that I don't and I'm not (never have, really). My house is a wreck & has been for months (I blame nursing school). We've eaten way too many fast-food meals & the kids have spent way too many hours on the weekend zoned out watching cartoons while I try to catch up on laundry before the week hits us square between the eyes again. We haven't been to church on a regular basis in a long time (that one really bothers me the most). I could keep going on, but you get the picture. I try to do better every day (even if only by a teeny, tiny bit) & do my best to let go of the things that won't matter in the long run (like whether the kids have wrinkled clothes or cute lil' heart-shaped PB&J sandwiches). And, I hope once this season of our life is past (in less than a year - YAY!), I can get my act together a bit more.

"To A Child Love Is Spelled T-I-M-E"

I happened upon this blog post with a list of 40 ways to show your child love. I wanted to share her intro & a few from the list that I want to do with Ella & Wesley in the next month.

"Displayed on a shelf in the entry way of my mother’s home is a book entitled To A Child Love Is Spelled T-I-M-E. I have often thought about that statement and how much truth it holds. It’s easy for us to say “I love you” but those three words, devoid of action and the gift of our quality time, are simply that—just words." -- Candace from The Mother Huddle blog

1. Send them a handmade card in the mail with a coupon to go get ice cream with you.
2. Play a game with them.
3. Let them win.
4. Kidnap them from school and take them out for lunch.
5. Go to the store and let them pick out all the ingredients to make banana splits. Make and eat them together.
6. Read “I love you” books together.

Just a thought on motherhood

I LOOKED ON CHILD REARING NOT ONLY AS A WORK OF LOVE AND DUTY BUT AS A PROFESSION THAT DEMANDED THE BEST THAT I COULD BRING TO IT. -- ROSE KENNEDY

Just a reminder to myself that my 'job' as a mother is every bit as important (& even more so than) my paid job (& really, has much more long-term rewards & responsibilities to go along with it). Been thinking a lot lately about my role as mother, wife, homemaker (& how to keep those roles balanced with my other ones without losing my mind). I half-jokingly told Anthony the other day that I was going to run off & join the circus. He told me I was too hot & had too many teeth to join the circus. I love it when he makes me laugh (when I'm about to cry).

Found the quote here: Motherhood Matters

Tales From Toddlerhood

I picked the kids up from daycare this afternoon & was trying to sit Ella in her car seat when she did what I call her 'stiff as a board' trick. Anyone with small children knows what I'm talking about. She will straighten her body out & I cannot wrestle her into a sitting position no matter how hard I try. Usually she does it so I can't buckle her in. This time she wiggled out of my grasp into the floor of the car, said something about 'up', crawled up in the seat all by herself, turned around, sat down & just looked at me like, 'now you can buckle me in.' Obviously she is getting to the 'I can do it all by myself' stage. I alternate between feeling frustrated (b/c of impatience), tickled at how funny it is, downright proud about her learning to do so many things without my help, and sad that she doesn't need/want my help as much anymore. How's that for an emotional rollercoaster? Hee, hee.

Then there are the really adorable things that go along with having a toddler. Like yesterday in the car on the way home hearing her 'read' The Foot Book by Dr. Seuss. It went something like this... "[indecipherable jibberish] baseball, baseball, baseball, [flip page], bye-bye [jibberish], [flip page], Mommy, Daddy, Wesley, Pops, [more jibberish]. I wish I could catch her doing it at home so I could record it - it's adorable.

Or there's tonight when she took two of her finger puppets in the living room & gave one to Anthony. He put it on his finger and said, "Hi, Ella," and she said, "Hi, Daddy."

Then there's her vocabulary that is growing so fast it's unbelievable. Up until yesterday she would almost always say "uh-huh" for yes & only occasionally repeat us and say "yes," which came out sounding like 'sess.' Suddenly she doesn't say "uh-huh" anymore. Now it's "yeah" every time. She almost sounds Canadian the way she says it.

I could go on with more little stories about the joys & trials of having a toddler, but it's midnight & my eyelids are getting pretty heavy so I'll have to save them for another day.

On Household Matters...

I’m on a mission to get our household running like a well-oiled machine before nursing classes start at the end of August. It seems like every time I go through a season of life when I am overwhelmed, the state of our house reflects that & looks like a tornado hit it. I am not embarrassed to admit that I’m not the best housekeeper to begin with (okay, maybe I’m a little embarrassed to admit that). My house is not one that you can just drop by unannounced & expect it to be presentable enough for company. Though I have the best intentions, I fail in execution. But, when I am overwhelmed, the house looks even worse than normal, with piles everywhere and everyone playing a sort of Russian roulette every day with whether they will have clean clothes to wear or dishes to eat on or food to eat for that matter. Sad, isn’t it? Granted this sad state of affairs has only happened a few times. One that comes to mind is the weeks that I was plagued with all-day nausea in the first part of my pregnancy with Ella (before I gave in to my doctor & starting taking anti-nausea medicine). I am determined to not let that happen again. One of the ways I’m heading off that situation now is by implementing some checklists & chore charts for all of us (except Ella – although I'm teaching her to clean up after herself & help with simple tasks, I think it’s a little early for a checklist for her).

Anyhow, the point of this post is to share some of things I’m using/planning on using in the hopes they might help someone else and also in the hopes that I’ll follow through since I’ve written it down & put it out there.

Household Chores: Motivated Moms has several different versions of planners. I’m using the full page per week one (the first one on the list).

Wesley’s checklists: This is something we tried for a bit right after Ella was born. It seemed to work okay then. Amazingly Wesley actually requested that I make these for him again the other day. I thought it was both funny & endearing that he wanted a checklist – evidence that he must be my child after all. If you are interested in my template just email me.

Meal Planner: E-Mealz. I used this for about 6 months when Ella was an infant & liked it overall. Some of the meals were a little unusual for our tastes (and I would say we’re not picky eaters), but I loved not having to think up meals & already having a shopping list made out for me. I’m planning on using this in conjunction with some of our family favorites that I can make in batches & freeze (things like PW’s Chicken Spaghetti) or that can be made in the crockpot without too much work (like this recipe for a whole chicken that we can make into two meals by having taco soup the next day).

And, lastly, printing out my calendar from Entourage (the version of Outlook for Mac) each month to post at home so it will have game schedules, my classes, birthdays, etc. already on it & all I will have to fill in is the day to day things that come up.

I also have big plans to go through every nook & cranny of our house during the break between my spring classes (last final is May 12^th) & my summer class (starts July 13^th) and get rid of a bunch of junk + get the rest of the stuff organized. I’ve already gone through one desk, one dresser, part of one storage closet & started on my scrapbooking closet/area. Then, during the two week break I’ll have between the end of my summer class & the start of nursing school I’m planning on getting some projects I’ve been working on for a loonngg time wrapped up – namely Wesley’s baby book (almost ten years in the making & I’ve completely started over twice) & finishing a quilt that I started in a quilting class I took in the summer of 2003 that I ‘gave’ to my sister, Megan, for Christmas that year in pieces (I had all the blocks made & some of the quilting done) – she has been reminding me to finish it for her almost every time I see her. I think I might have good excuses for not getting it done yet. Some of the big ones are moving twice, getting engaged/planning a wedding/getting married, buying a house, finishing two degrees + starting another, starting a new job, remodeling our one bathroom, having a baby (all in the last seven years, but not necessarily in that order).

Credit for finding the meal planner & household chores list goes to Susan Wyatt. I found both those from her sharing them on her blog.

Happy Holidays

Sorry to leave you with such a depressing post for so long. I meant to post this one on Christmas, but alas, one sugar-hyped toddler & not enough time to cook, pack & get ready to go pick up Wesley before heading to my parents' house interfered. So, my holiday wishes to blogland are late just like the Christmas cards I mailed two days before Christmas. Better late than never, right?

I hope you and yours had a very Merry Christmas and have a Happy New Year.
Anthony & I saw a little decade in review on the news tonight. They started with the ball dropping at midnight marking the beginning of 2000, & I said to him, "I remember where I was that night." I can figure out what I was likely doing on most new year's eve's in the last fifteen years or so based on what year it was, but I actually remember December 31, 1999, where I was, who was there, what movie we were watching & the games we were playing, who I was there with. I remember how excited I was about 2000. After all, I was a high school senior & would be starting college somewhere that fall. My, how things change in ten year's time. I was so young then, still very naive and innocent, & on my way out of the angst-filled teenage years. The last ten years have flown by. It seems like I just blinked and went from that young girl to being the wife & mother of two.

Sorry, didn't mean to ramble on like that. Here's the picture we sent out in our Christmas cards this year (it's not the best one we've taken, but not the worst either).

Worn-Out Woman Syndrome

I don't know if you noticed, but I recently changed up the blog links in my sidebar, not only to include a blogroll, but also to add some new blogs, like Crystal Paine's Biblical Womanhood, Money Saving Mom and Mom of Littles. I have been so blessed over the last few weeks since I found her from Simple Mom (who I found from Ali Edwards). Not only have I become an avid coupon clipper, but I've also begun examining a lot of the things in my life which are unneccessary distractions from my main purpose in life - to live a life that glorifies God. In this season of my life (as Crystal puts it), that means pouring my energy into being my best as a wife, mother, homemaker and employee.

I've been slowly reading through some of her older posts on Biblical Womanhood and have been soaking up her Godly advice on a number of subjects. One of her series, From Exhaustion to Rejuvenation, Overcoming the Worn-Out Woman Syndrome, (four different links to the four posts) is something I have found to be especially helpful. I don't know about you ladies, but I never realized how very much there is to do as a mother and/or wife until I became one. Ever since then I have felt (to varying degrees) like I'm burning the candle at both ends just trying to take care of children and husband while attempting to keep a spotless, well-organized home (emphasis on the attempting). Throw on top of that trying to be a dedicated full-time employee, a good friend, sister, daughter and church member.

Anyhoo, I just thought I would share links to that series so it might help someone else who has felt the way I do. I'm quite sure I'm not alone in feeling overwhelmed with the day-to-day of being a wife/mother. I'm sure if you are neither a wife, mother or homemaker that you can still glean some helpful information from her posts.

To all the mothers out there...

I found this post via one of the blogs I read. It's a great little story - made me tear up - although these days, the smallest things can make me teary-eyed. For example, the other day I was trying to explain to Wesley that we as Americans have the freedom of speech & as part of that, we are allowed to protest things which we think need to be changed or are unfair, etc. (we saw some people protesting on the way to school that morning). I got so choked up I had to stop talking. Then, last night, watching Private Practice, the new spin-off from Grey’s Anatomy, I was bawling during the scene where two mothers, whose babies were switched at birth, have to give back each other's biological child. I probably would have cried about that even if I wasn’t pregnant, but I’m definitely more emotional these days.

Anyways, I thought the story was something that all mothers will appreciate. We have a tendency to feel neglected & unappreciated for the millions of things we do that go unnoticed. This really puts into perspective what all our hard work is for.


And, because I like posting a picture with every blog post, here's a couple pictures I took of St. Patrick's cathedral in NYC a few years ago - yes, it was snowing. (These will only make sense if you read the linked story)...


not the greatest quality because they are just scans (from before I had my digital)